


Bright Lights Shining Dark

by TheFlirtMeister



Category: IT (1990), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gen, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 10:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12455487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlirtMeister/pseuds/TheFlirtMeister
Summary: “So,” He says, “A boyfriend.”Eddie looks up at him. “Do you have a problem with that Richie?” He asks, and his tone is so defensive that Richie is taken aback.“No!” He says, “Of course not- I work in Hollywood. Everyone’s gay, or lesbian, or other stuff.”“Good for you.” Eddie says, and Richie realises that he’s done the equivalent of telling someone he has black friends, and then pointed to Mike as proof he couldn’t be racist.(Mini Series Canon)





	Bright Lights Shining Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Dennis Christopher played Eddie as a gay man and I will stand by this till my dying day.

“Alright who got old, who got wrinkled, and how many of God’s children got wings?!”

They all turn, and Richie is hit with a wave of shock at his friends old and tired faces. Bill has a pony tail, scraggly, and Ben has a beard, and still as stocky as ever, Mike is grey haired, Bev is thin and pinched, and Eddie-

Eddie is tall, and blonde, with a mop of curls, and he’s the last to smile, his eyes travelling up from Richie’s shoes to his face.

“Beep Beep Richie!” Bill announces, the others following suit, Eddie two steps behind.

Richie grins at them all, and then moves further into the room, messing about as usual. He touches Mike’s hair, making a joke about how old he is, and notices Eddie wiping his chin with his sleeve as if preparing himself for something, and Richie steals the glass and bottle from his hand easily, and Eddie gives no qualms.

“Hey buddy!” Ben says, and Richie swallows his drink, moving from Eddie’s orbit to someone else’s, and pretends that Eddie’s eyes don’t slide over his skin in the hungry way of someone looking at something they can’t have.

And then the flashbacks start. As soon as Eddie starts crying, Richie rushes to him, almost embarrassed with the speed in which he goes to comfort him. Bev follows, brow furrowed in alarm, and together they crowd him, Eddie almost pressed up against Richie’s body. Richie wants to hold him, hug him like when they were kids, and two boys could touch each other.

Eddie comes up to his shoulder now, unlike the days when Richie could pick him up under one arm and run with him, Eddie screeching all the while about germs. This Eddie doesn’t screech, but there’s still that tone of his voice, the constant aura of someone who is hurt. When he takes his glasses off to clean them, he catches his fingers on Richie’s shirt, pulling slightly, and Richie doesn’t know if it is deliberate or not.

Richie envies Beverly, the way she rubs at Eddie’s shoulder, comforting. He’s almost leaning against her, and Richie can almost imagine them as teenagers, all long limbs and awkwardness and repressed sexuality. Richie always thought Bev would grow up to be tall, he himself is 6’4, but she’s even smaller than Eddie. This must make Eddie 5’10, 5’11, and the thought makes him wet his lips for no apparent reason.

Eddie makes them toast before dinner, looking at Richie and smiling like a child, and Richie grips his fist tighter around his glass. The others sip their drinks, but Richie knocks his back in one, muscle memory when he has a shot glass in his hand, and ignores how the others react.

Somehow the topic gets onto girlfriends, and in Bev’s case, boyfriends. Bill tells them all about Audra, eyes shining, and Ben tells them all about the girl he’s dating, describing her in vapid detail. When it’s Richie’s turn to share, he opens his mouth and they all start laughing, looking at him in fond amusement.

“Like you have a steady girlfriend.” Bev says, grinning at him. “Give over Richie.”

Richie laughs along with them, and has to nod and admit, that no, he doesn’t have a steady girlfriend.

“But don’t think,” He adds, holding up a finger, and they all laugh, “That I am not getting laid on a daily basis.”

“You’re so gross.” Eddie says, smiling at him fondly, and Richie reaches over and ruffles his hair.

“You love it Eddie spaghetti.” He says, and Eddie bats him away.

“I told you not to call me that!”

Mike speaks of the crush he has on the library assistant, fumbling with his words out of character, and they all wolf whistle, and make fun of him. Mike takes it in jest, but they all see how much the girl means to him, and don’t take it too far. They even start giving him ridiculous advice to woo her over, spelling out ‘Will You Go Out With Me?’ in overdue library books, telling him to confess his love during quiet reading time.

They get to Eddie, and everyone shifts in their seats, because it’s Eddie. Richie is fully expecting Eddie to admit that he still lives with his mother, or he’s got some girlfriend somewhere exactly like her.

“So, Eddie,” Ben says, “Tell me all about your love life.”

“Oh,” Eddie says shyly, but without any hesitation. “I have a boyfriend.”

The group fall silent, staring at him. They all had their suspicions, Eddie was always so _fussy_ , and even Richie is speechless for once. Not with anger, no, more proud. Here is his Eddie admitting that he’s gay, that he’s in love with another man, and he’s not afraid to say it.

“Is there a problem with that?” Eddie asks after a moment, and they all shake their heads furiously.

“No!” Bev says, “Oh Eddie, that’s wonderful.”

Eddie laughs, shrugging, but he looks pleased. “We’ve been dating for a couple of years now.” He says, “His name is Alex. After all this is over, maybe you could meet him?”

“That would be great.” Mike says, eyes shining, and then he looks over at Richie. “Wouldn’t it?”

“Of course.” Richie says, and grins. “I can’t believe our Eddie is all grown up!”

“Oh give over Richie.” Eddie says, “Let me live.”

“Fine.” Richie says, and steals a forkful of food from Eddie’s plate, and hates how Eddie lets him.

As they’re walking up to the library to ring Stan and collect more information, Richie and Eddie end up at the back. Eddie is silent, staring down at his feet, as if once he takes his eyes off them, they will stop working. Richie keeps up a steady pace beside him, smoothing down his jacket.

“So,” He says, “A boyfriend.”

Eddie looks up at him. “Do you have a problem with that Richie?” He asks, and his tone is so defensive that Richie is taken aback.

“No!” He says, “Of course not- I work in Hollywood. Everyone’s gay, or lesbian, or other stuff.”

“Good for you.” Eddie says, and Richie realises that he’s done the equivalent of telling someone he has black friends, and then pointed to Mike as proof he couldn’t be racist.

“Sorry, that came out wrong.” Richie runs a hand over his face. “Just, I’m proud of you Eds.”

“For getting a boyfriend.”

“For being comfortable.” Richie says, and bumps him. “For falling in love without your mother’s permission.”

Eddie laughs. “My mother hates him.” He says. “But she hates everyone.”

“Even me?” Richie bumps Eddie’s hip playfully.

“Oh she despised you.” Eddie says, “You were always getting me into trouble. Remember that time I accidentally poured popcorn over Henry Bowers, and so you poured your drink, and they chased us out of the theatre?”

“That was the best moment of your life!” Richie protests.

“I almost tore a ligament running from them!” Eddie says, and Richie rolls his eyes.

“You’re so dramatic Eds.”

“Beep Beep.” Eddie says, and their hands brush as they walk, and Richie pulls away, as if scalded.

In the library, Mike trying to get through to Stan, Richie hops up onto the counter, laughing. He’s slightly drunk on wine and Eddie being so close, and he can’t help himself, constantly touching and prodding at Eddie, scooping him up under his arm and spinning him upside down.

“You’re like the brother I never had!” He says, and Eddie hits him on the arm, laughing. “You are the brother I never had!”

“Get a room!” Bev calls playfully, and Richie lets go of Eddie, but not before tugging at his hair again.

“He has a boyfriend Bevvie, have some respect!” He calls back loudly, and she laughs, and then he laughs, and Eddie laughs too, leaning against Richie like a life boat.

When Mike opens the mini fridge, balloons come flying out, all different colours, like sprinkled candy. Eddie bats them away from him pathetically, and Richie can’t help but stare, in the way that he is not supposed to. He wonders how Eddie deals with every bone in his body screaming queer. It must be hard for him.

“Nice nose job, nobody would ever suspect!” Stan’s head tells him gleefully, and Richie rubs at his nose.

The only reason why he ever got it done was because Eddie one day had looked at him in profile, and told him he had a nose like his grandmother’s parrot. It had haunted Richie ever since, that childish insult even from the closest of his friends, where joking about and insulting each other is okay. It’s funny, the things you take from childhood.

“Hey wheezy! How’s your sex life? Been tested yet?” Stan’s head asks.

Richie looks across at him, and Eddie is staring at the head in upmost horror. Richie can’t work out if it’s because Stan’s disembodied head is talking to them from a fridge, or if it’s because Stan’s head is happily asking if he has Aids.

Stan moves onto Mike, chastising him, and Richie wants nothing more than to reach across and touch Eddie’s hand, but they’re too far away, and Eddie would never reciprocate, not now, not sober.

They walk into the sewer in darkness, single file, which to Richie is a stupid idea. He’s at the back too, Eddie in front of him, so if Pennywise steals up on them, he’s going to be the first to be taken and Eddie won’t be any fucking help.

“Bill’s ponytail is awful.” Eddie murmurs, Bill too far away at the front to hear them.

“You’re fighting Pennywise in a sweater vest.” Richie reminds him.

“It’s fashionable.” Eddie says, and Richie snorts.

“It’s a disaster.” He says, and they fall silent for a while until Eddie speaks.

“What are you going to do after this?”

“After this?” Richie asks incredulous, “I’m going to have a stiff fucking drink and maybe some hypnotism to get it out of my brain. Why?”

“I was just asking.”

“We’re fighting a sewer creature, it’s not a casual business meeting.” Richie says, and he can practically hear Eddie rolling his eyes in the darkness. “What?”

“Nothing.” Eddie says, and then there’s a bang, and then a yelp.

“You okay?” Beverly calls from the front, Ben’s hand clutching her arm.

“I’m fine.” Eddie calls back, “I just hit my head.”

Richie reaches up, touches the metal pole across the ceiling that he too would have smacked his head on. “Eddie’s just being an idiot.”

“Shut up.” Eddie says, and Bill points the flashlight on them so they can see better. “Just, ow.”

“Need a bandage?” Beverly calls.

“No thank you!” Eddie says back, and they continue on into the darkness.

“What were you about to say before you hit your head?” Richie asks quietly.

“Nothing.” Eddie says, and Richie reaches out, touches his back gently, and Eddie whirls round.

“Don’t touch me!”

“What’s your problem?!” Richie says, “Jesus, stop being so fucking touchy.”

Eddie runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “You want to know what I was about to say?”

“What?” Richie snaps, “Tell me.”

“I thought I’d gotten over you.” Eddie says and laughs bitterly, “Christ, I thought I had.”

“What?” Richie says, and Eddie looks up at him, blood trickling down his temple.

“I always liked you,” He says, “Always. You don’t think I was following you around for your jokes and impressions, did you?”

Richie opens his mouth and then closes it again. “When we were kids?”

“I was _enamoured_ by you.” Eddie says, lifting up his hand to wipe the blood away, but only succeeds in smearing it across his face. “You were my favourite person in the whole world.”

“And you moved on?”

“And I moved on.” Eddie says, and looks down at his blood stained fingers. “And now I have a boyfriend, and you’re straight, and maybe I should just let It kill me in this damn sewer to get this over and done with.”

“My assistant looks like you.” Richie blurts out.

Eddie looks at him. “What?”

“My assistant.” Richie says, “He could be your twin.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I kiss him, sometimes.” Richie says, and it’s the first time he’s said it out loud. “And it’s like kissing you.”

Bill’s flashlight goes off, and they’re suddenly left in complete darkness.

“Fuck.” Eddie says, and they hear the roar of Pennywise.

Afterwards, and now Richie will always split his life into three parts, childhood, adulthood, and adulthood without Eddie, they stand on the side of the road like lost children. Richie has Eddie over his shoulders, fireman lift style, and he wishes he could carry Eddie like a bride, but then he would have to see the gap and wet bone where Eddie’s arm should be.

“We have to tell his boyfriend.” Bev says, and Richie’s grip tightens on Eddie.

“We need to bury him.” He says, and Bev looks up at him, Ben wrapped around her like a parasite.

“Richie.” She says, soft, “You have to let him go.”

“I don’t want to let him go.” Richie says childishly, and Bev gently pushes Ben away from her before standing up.

“Oh Richie.” She says, and strokes his cheek with the back of her hand. “I know you loved him.”

“Shut up.” Richie says, cruel. “Shut up Beverly.”

“Fine.” She says, and kisses his nose. “Fine.”

“Good.” Richie says, and they all fall silent, sombre, and ultimately, sad.


End file.
